I'm jealous

It's a clear title to describe what's on my mind. What actually I want to tell you. I'M JEALOUS, that's it. You know, I'm getting hard to prepare my school to study abroad. It's like really hard on my circumstance and environment. But, then my friend, who actually in the same old as me, reach what I've planned all this time. It's like burning inside, hopeless, and yeah... jealous. I don't want tell lie, but it's a really jealous (I would repeat it over and over). Jealous isn't a thing that positive. It's bad, if you know what I mean. It's bothering my mind (yours too), and above all IT'S NEGATIVE THINKING. But 'jealous' not bad on every side. I sometimes use it for motivation burning, so I would never forget about what I've planned and all. So, I never soluble in sadness and hopeless, nor angry. I would keep it less than an hour, then I will make better plan than before. But in one goal. But I really congratulate to my friend (I'm not sentimental at all)! :)