15 years old of me... almost

How do you judge my title of this post? Sad or happy? That's subjective, but I have the common feeling. You know, I have nothing to happy about and nothing to sad about. This is God want and "product" not mine. But, yeah, I appreciate 100% of my age about turning 15. I have to decorate my room into 'SWEET 15'. Do you think it's on 16 or 17 to have the sweet birthday? Not for me. It's sweet every time, like we have struggle to our life. Do you know how much you confused about something, your relationship, friendship, school? Did you ever feel sad and hopeless? Be proud of yourself, that you haven't suicide. Seriously, guys, you have hundreds of feels in a year, and by turning year to year, you actually still alive and not feel so much break down and SUICIDE. Be proud of yourself! And God too. He gives us the chance to live each year. Not too many people gets the lucky chance like us. So be proud, be proud, be proud (it's like my only vocabularies). I have no plan to do something before my birthday. You know, go to restaurant and get presents, that's a routinely each birthday. But, I want something positive like I never did before. There are too many to do. You know, start a relationship, dig for our chest of memories (diary, clothes, etc.), and so many else. It can be your choice too, but I want to act and volunteering. If I have no chance to volunteer, then, I should collect my used things and send to my cousin or someone's need it. I will do something. It's still a mystery. You know, this once is a lucky for me. Emphasized to act, my church celebrate Name Party. It's like celebrate our Saints. Names of Saint, it's praised and prayed for. They open a theater play and they still seek the role cast. You know, I'm still on my mind. Too hard to decide, but, until now, 40% of ma mind said, "YOU OUGHT TO JOIN THE PLAY." Ok. That's not overacting, you know. It actually really SCREAM in my head, as I'm going crazy. Oooh... suggest guys. I think I'd too much ask for suggest. I'm sorryyyy :)